Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
