hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
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