I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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