I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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