Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
