He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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