C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize
