Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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