There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Randomize
