There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
