At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
