He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
