she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize