So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
