Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I deserve this hangover.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
