I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
