Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
