Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
it was like eating out sand paper
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
