No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
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