But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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