If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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