I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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