you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
