Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
