I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
