I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
