If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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