Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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