you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
