More tranny stories later!
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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