is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
