the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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