Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
