why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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