the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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