I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
