I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
