What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize