so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
