i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
