hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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