Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
