No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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