Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
