I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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