Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
