Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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