Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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