One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I love you. Go after that dick
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
