Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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