I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize