so explain again why im purple
no
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
