ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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