I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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