It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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