I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
my sisters under your porch take her home
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
