Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
