tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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