i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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