Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize